Living in another country and culture, as I am, entails an incredible amount of patience and serenity. Both being things that I tend to lack. So, my days are often full of spiked highs and lows, satisfaction and distress. That's not to say that my responses to situations aren't a bit overly dramatic emotional sometimes. But add to that the stress of not understanding anything that people say to you, constantly having to analyze and interpret the most minute of social norms and not being able to do anything the way you normally would. Anyone would go a bit nutty. Well, I'm thinking, I might go a bit nuttier than most. If you're gonna do a thing, you might as well do the thing all the way, right? So, if I'm gonna lose my shit, I might as well go full tilt. It's good for the soul sometimes.
Today started as a normal day since I got to my final site (all of four days ago). I slept in, watched one of the many American TV shows I have on my computer, ate breakfast, then wandered over to the cafe to meet a friend. So far, so boring. Some extended family is staying in the house and there’s just SO MANY people in that tiny place. I guess I just kind of snapped because I found myself on the roof after lunch crying hysterically, wishing I could be anywhere else. Maybe back in Colorado, running in the Garden of the Gods. Or in Denver having brunch and coffee with my best friends. Yeah, that would be nice. Or Japan, my second home. I miss my people there. Anywhere, ANYWHERE, but here.
Ok, welcome to the world of homesickness. I've been here before. I called some PCV friends, had a long heart-to-heart with my host sister and took some deep breaths. "Life is good, life is good, life is good." And it is because we all went for a walk that night, playing music on our cell phones and singing American pop songs to the stars. Life IS good. That's just hard to remember sometimes.